Annoying the Vamps 3
by linkinparkfan9799
Summary: After much wait-and please blame EBay for that exact wait, I, Queen Ann Demon Gone Out of Hand Siam, return to you with more torturing of the students and teachers of Cross Academy and yet ANOTHER problem for me. Jeez, it's one after another! Ah well...
1. Chapter 1

**SEQUEL TO ANNOYING THE VAMPS 2!**

**Annoying the Vamps 3**

_One_

"Ugh…STOP TUGGING ON MY LEG AL!" I kick at him. He whines and keeps tugging. "MOM!"

Mom is being bitchy today and says 'let the kid tug'. I mean _jeez_, be on my side for once! I AM YOUR ONLY DAUGHTER YOU KNOW! As I pout, Richard pries Al off and drops him in the garbage can. "There we go!" Richard works on nailing the lid to the can.

"WAAAAAAAAAH!" Al whines. "MOMMY!"

"Ugh…" Mom stomps in and grabs the hammer and nails from Richard's hands, nailing one into his skull. _Ouch…_ "Stop bullying your brother!" she hisses, grabbing Al out of the can and walking to wash him up. The little bastard sticks his tongue out at us and snuggles up to mother.

Grumbling about how slow and painful the ripping of his head off will be, I grab the nail out of Richard's head and pin up the banner I so hold with it. The banner says 'Party for Part Thee' (though I specifically told them _part three)_ and is the last remaining thing of the banner company, seeing as they all blew up two days ago when I got this. Now, there are no connections there, so I am **obviously** not guilty~. Streamers hang from the stairs and whatnot, one in my face to my discomfort, and balloons are all over.

I guess I should mention the overflow of dead vampire plushies, but that is not really a major factor of how festive I made the house look. The walls are all red with paint (yeah…_that's_ the ticket…) and the floor is stained with it. It reeks of rust and salt, a major scent of metal in the mix, and 'All hail queen Ann' is spelled out in broken glass on the ceiling. To be honest, I think I should get paid for stuff like this! But Linkin says_ no_ and tells me I cannot due to her happy fortieth. Seriously, I DID NOT DECORATE! Yet she blames me anyway!

Oh, right, I had cards for this. Hold on! I rush up stairs and slam my bedroom door shut. I run through the door, leaving a fair-sized hole in place. In my hands are cards I wrote for this chapter. –Clears throat- "Why are you clearing your throat?" Dad sighs as he walks by.

Damn body! UGH! "I'm going through the motions," I snap. "Now off to the downstairs with you!" He gives me a quizzical look, making me shrink a bit. "Erm…Please?" he obeys.

Okay! Hello, I am Queen Ann Demon Gone Out of Hand Siam! I am currently threfteen years old, seeing as you missed the party. Sorry, but I could not get this stupid log until Linkin got the pipe out of her ass and gave me my pay! **Really?** STOP GETTING INTO MY HEAD! Anyways, so here I am and-_Ding dong!_ Oh, that's the doorbell.

I rush downstairs and trip along the way, rolling and crashing into a red wall. With my back now soaked in 'paint', I hobble up and lean against the door. This breaks and crashes forward, making my nose broken as my face is against it. "Ugh!" Zero cringes, covering his nose. "What _is_ that stench?"

What? He was invited! Grumbling, I snatch his pants and yank myself up, also yanking them down. "Well hello," I say to the newly seen boxers.

"H-HEY!" he yanks them back up. "Don't be a pervert! And answer the question!" I try giving him that quizzical glare Dad gave me, but all he does is give me a 'do not fuck with me, woman' glare that I have to abide by. Apparently that is how all the gushy-mushy couples do things: the non-fun way.

I dust my pants. "It's the paint," I nod my head to the inside. "The shade is called 'Sheep's blood'." He gets the message and starts walking away. "Hey! Get back here!"

"No."

"Why not?" I tackle him.

This makes him fall forward somehow. "ACK! What the-DON'T GIVE ME THE PUPPY FACE ANN!" What? I am freakin' adorable with my puppy face! "Ugh, you know me and blood, _Annie!_" I am quick to slap him silly. "OW!"

His head hits the pavement harshly as I shake his shoulders. "THIS QUEEN IS NOT NAMES ANNIE!" I screech. To inflict more fear, I jingle the weapon bracelet in front of his face. "See this? A chainsaw to chop off your nuts if you say differently again! GOT THAT HOT STUFF?**!"**

Now Zero just looks flat out confused. "…Are you trying to be intimidating?" This earns him a kick to the nuts. **"OW!"**

"Ann, stop abusing your boyfriend!" Richard calls from the door.

Oh yeah, you do not know about that, huh? Well, whilst you were gone, we got together because, to be honest, he blew up Hanabusa. That is a _major_ favor in my direction! Sadly he lived and only went into the hospital for a few weeks. Again, I blame EBay. Everything that goes wrong in my life must be blamed on either Kaname or EBay! Well, all of that strung-together crap, and the fact that...well…he's cute and…Ugh, it's hard to explain how the weird, beating thing in my chest works! I think the name of it started with a 'Q'...?

So I stop being mean and push the guy inside. To his request, I give him a gas mask as to not make him lose it. This party shall be the best one until I form another! As I set up the bags of skittles on the table, the doorbell rings again and I open it to Night. "Hey!" I smile, hugging her.

"HI ANN!" she literally tackles me.

"ACK!"

With her weight lowering my air count (remember, I am only in a body of a thirteen-year-old), she offers me a present. "Here!" she cheers. "A present for my queen!"

The box is wrapped in black paper with red ribbon. I take it and open it to some queenish clothing, a crown included, a few dozen pounds of candy, and a plushy in a red gown that looks oddly like me. Zero rips the candy from me once I start kissing it from glee. "Hey!" I whine. My hands reach out and clench repeatedly like a baby implying 'gimme'. "Return thy candy to me!"

"You're hyper enough," he walks back into the kitchen.

Night blinks and points after him, but I shake my head. She does not really need to know what the necessity of it is. She hops off and salutes. "Hail Queen Ann!" she cheers.

"HAIL QUEEN ANN!" another tackle comes to my attention. All this one does is squish me flat.

"ACK!" I repeat. A note is shoved up to my face.

_Dear Ann-sama,_

_I understand how you will be frightened about the FBI, my mother accidently blew up one of their head qaurters one time so they hate her guts now..._

_Anyhow, I wish you could meet my friends, I think you would like them :3 cause their weird and Maki has a pedophile boyfriend who watches her sleep, and Kaki is just crazy, I mean they don't dash into my house with tazers and some random substance...I do but, they don't, they do blow things up though, a lot...with ice of all things...Anywho I'm getting off subject, enclosed are gifts Enjoy._

_From your forevor insane and obsessed with Edgar allen poe poems and random crazy crap follower,_

_Yuki Hoshino!_

Oh…"Hey Yuki!" I wave. "Uh, off?" She hops off and drops a box in her place. "ACK! THIS IS PAINFUL!"

"That just happens with you!" Richard laughs. I pluck Nancy the Nail gun from the bracelet and take aim. "OW!"

"There!" I snap. "Now it's painful for you!"

Someone flicks my head. "Ann-sama!" Yuki addresses. "Open the package!"

"Alright, alright!" I raise my hands. "Jeez, gimme my breather!" Using my nail, I cut the box open and pluck the stuff out of the inside. "Hanabusa OFF! Now that can come in handy. Good banners…" They read 'Happy Rein of Destruction! All Hail Ann-sama!', so they meet my approval. There is a giant, inflatable pool with random plushies. I grab one and gnaw it's head off as I continue. Kitty potions, a life-sized Barney follow afterward. "Zero! Get the-Oh wait, got it!" I shove C4 down it's throat and push it out the door. A human comes out, making me stare at Yuki. "Explain?"

She points to it with a finger-pointer, shoving random glasses up her the bridge of her nose. "This is a humanoid-whatever that means-computer human! I got it from Chobits~"

Don't know what that means, but I will just assume it is something that is not going to kill me. It looks like a girl with bird beaks on her head. She has light-blonde, short hair, is fairly pale and green-eyed, and has a simple white dress. "…Hello?" I poke her.

"Hello," she replies.

_**BOOM!**_

And there goes Barney. With a sigh, I take out capes, putting one on her, handing Yuki one, also Night, Zero, Richard, and me. Al, Mom, and Dad walk in and do not get one because they are not cape worthy! MUHAHAHAHA! Yuki hands me bombs that feel frigid. The doorbell rings again and in comes Mika. "Mika!" I greet. "How is my-"-She hands me a note. "Oh…"

_Ann,_

_I will continue to be thy royal witch and I will mix potions at your demand! _

_Any potions, magic mushrooms or random crp you need just ask!_

_Mika xx_

Then she puts a big bag into my hands. Knowing her, it's potions. "Happy party," she smiles.

"…Thanks…" I set the box down. My arms spread out and face the ceiling. "Okay God, who else?"

The screeching tells me that God heard and is telling me to get the Hell out of dodge. In so, I cling to the computer for dear life. Yet, I get tackled _again_. "ANN!" Kurosei cheers. "It's me!"

Oh how bad do I want to taze someone's _pretty_ face! Gritting my teeth, I force a smile. "Kurosei, how nice…" I shove her off and stand, dusting my shirt. "For crying out loud, I am a queen! NOT A TACKLE BUNNY!"

"Sorry…" they all mumble.

I nod, satisfied, but then curse my head off at the sight of Kaname. "Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! FUCKING! WHY!" I direct to Kaname.

Kaname enters, glaring at me. "_Wonderful_ to see you to," he mutters.

Zero is not so happy either, but he stays gentle in order to calm me down. "Hey, hush Ann," he picks me up as I flail and kick and screech. "Calm down, or no cake."

"CAKE!" I squeal, hugging his neck tightly. "Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I smooch him from gratitude.

Everyone is a bit shocked that my face went through the gas mask to kiss him, but knowing that is just how I work, they quickly dismiss it. When I am done, Zero is wide eyed and blinking. Sort of makes me wonder why he is so stunned that his girlfriend is a case of nuts. I hop out of his arms and run for the kitchen. "Follow me! Follow me! La-la la laa la~!" I sing. My loyal followers do such.

As time passes, we nearly explode the house making kitty cupcakes. Note: I am not a good cook. We move to piñata bashing, which Kurosei GREATLY disapproves of due to the fact that I am using Kaname as le' piñata. Or is it 'la piñata'? Eh, I don't know. So that is one off the checklist of annoying the vampy-vamp-vamps. It somehow moves to a candy fight, which Yuki and I sob over all fallen candies afterward. Then comes the candy funeral, which everyone drags us away from the tiny graves we made in the backyard much to Mom's disapproval. Honestly, can a queen _not _morn? I mean Queen Victoria did it!

For whatever reason, Kurosei proceeds to hand us refillable pepper spray cans and then complains when I use it on Kaname. Out of all honesty, she should have put some rules for it. Mom scrubs the walls, much to Zero's comfort, as Yuki, Night, Mika, Kurosei, and I talk about what to name the computer. Mika gives us the idea of 'Nori', but Night suggests 'Masa', then Yuki suggests something along the lines of 'unicorn'; couldn't really catch the rest of it. In conclusion, Kurosei and I dub her 'Nori Masa Taka'. All but Mika break into the Macarena dance using that instead of 'dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun-a' and Mika shakes her head.

Quickly naming the pepper-spray can 'Peps', I stick it on the bracelet. We all lie around, Kaname sitting on the couch politely, as we ponder on what to do next. Kaname stands to go, but Kurosei glues his feet to the floor before he can even say anything. With a sigh, he sits on the couch again. My note-cards say nothing, so I start shredding them and eating them bit by bit. Seriously, I am going _insane_ with nothing to do. "Can we eat cake now?" I whine at Zero, tugging at his pants leg that is next to my head.

He nudges y head with the tip of his shoe. "Get up and then you-"

"YAY~!" I shoot up, dashing into the kitchen. "I get to cut!"

"Oka-WAIT NO!" He runs in after me and grabs my hands that hold Cassie le' chainsaw. "DO. NOT."

I pout and turn to the followers. "Er…guys?"

Mika grabs the tazer from my bracelet and uses it on Zero. Yuki lines up the cake with the path of the chainsaw and Night prepares to blow a whistle. "On my mark!" she states. "One…Two…" _Tweet!_

The sound of the chainsaw rips through the house as I slice the cake. Soon it is done and I put the chainsaw away with pride. That is, until the table collapses and the cake plops onto the floor. I venture to my corner of woe. "Darn it…" I mope.

Nori Masa Taka pats my head robotically and smiles a little. To be honest, I don't see what is so happy about seeing a mourning queen. Kaname rolls his eyes and bangs on the wall. "SOMEONE GET ME OFF OF THE FLOOR!" he roars.

"No!" Kurosei whines. "Stay there, hun-bun~"

"**PLEASE HELP ME!"**

She pouts as Mom and Dad rush in and try to detach him from the ground. Whatever Kurosei used actually worked well! Eventually, I cannot stand their suffering, for they are my producers, and stomp over to levitate his feet off the ground. As he runs out, someone growls behind me. I turn slowly to Kurosei, who is producing an awful amount of miasma at the moment. Yuki, Night, and Mika hold up cards that say 'run' and I do so. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**Linkin: ANN IS BACK!**

**Ann: NOT FOR LONG! Kurosei, please be nice and don't kill me! I JUST GOT BACK!**


	2. Chapter 2

**-Ann's Note—**

**Ugh, Linkin and her stupid over-pilling habit…**

**Sorry for the wait my subjects!**

**I promise if Linkin does this again she's getting a chainsaw up her ass. **

**With that, enjoy!**

_Two_

The gates tower over us like Barney over his rape victim. With that unsettling thought, I duck behind Richard, blinking up with wide, brown eyes. Speaking of rape, has the headmaster ever thought of the consequences of wearing skirts-…Ah _shit_. Screaming like a banshee and trying to make a break for it, Richard and Nori Masa Taka grab me and drag me in, even though I'm screaming warnings about how the Headmaster is after all the Day Class girls and that is the only reason why we wear such short skirts.

Anyone we pass ducks into hiding, peering at us with fear. Well, more like peering at me with fear. At least something good is happening to me today. I would not want my subjects and slaves to think I'm _loving_! Seriously, I would not be able to show my face in public anymore if that happened! Sure Zero's an acception, but he is a boy-slave and that is different. Get the wrong idea by that and the chainsaw shall demand a 'hug' from you people (except Kurosei because she is pissed at me…). The letter I found on my head this morning is proof of such:

_ANN-_

_Don't worry I don't intend to kill u... Yet at least... I unfortuneally can not type in all caps right now cause my iPod does not have caps lock ... But I so happy cause I got review first! Yay! I was surprised when there were no reviews at the moment cause UR so AWEsome! Well besides the fact u seem to have chosen to pick on my kana spicifically it's great to see u... Oh and the glue was a combination of cement gurilla glue and foundation... That stuff is evil the foundation at least... Oh and I finally watched/read kuroshitsuji and I have to agree with u that sebby is sexy... I think Claude would be a better butler for u though he is more handsy and not distracted my cats... I was a bit disappointed about the end of the second season though ceil shouldn't have became a demon they should have made a 3 rd season... But that's a rant for another time!_

_Your loyal minion and your assassin if you don't slack off on the torcher on kana..._

_- kurosei!_

_Ps- I put together a slide show of all the wonderfully horiable things u done last year_

_Pss- I still can't spell_

Unless I am hallucinating, that line above her signature is a death threat. Maybe I should hire Yuki and Night as bodyguards? Meh. Me's shall thinkith about it whenith I sleepith!...Mom should stop forcing me to read _Hamlet. _'To be or not to be, that is the question'. TO BE WHAT GENIUS?**!** With all this conflict in my head, my legs refuse to cooperate and fall asleep. This makes the dragging easier and my praying to increase. It goes something along the lines of this:

_God, I know I ain't the best bitch around, but if you can, spare me? I mean, Linkin has been nice and she found me. Since I am under her wing, shalt thou-damn it! Ugh, not to-Oye…Main point: Help please!_

Not the best impression, but it's sure better than this:

_Yo' bitch help out or I'll slaughter yo' family!_

Seriously, incorrect grammar is not impressive. Someone grabs my waist and jerks me out of my thoughts, making me scream like Hell and levitate a tree out of the ground to smack into the person. I blink after I hear a long groan and turn my head to the tree to see Day Class sleeves sticking out from under the thick bark. A strand of silver hair makes me duck behind Richard again. "EEP!" I dash. "NOT SORRY! Wait, WHAT?**!** Bad mouth!"

"**ANN!"**

"RUN LEGS, _RUN!_"

**~~Funny Farm~~**

That's right. I am not changing my lovely little time-passer-marker-thingy. Once in the dorm of the Day Class marked 66_6_, I plop onto the bed and frown. All the walls are cleaned and the length that Rakisu and I added to it last year fills with loneliness and uselessness. Then again, we no longer has those annoying servants and the stench of metal is gone. Nori Masa Taka sits down in a bed and glances out of the window, blinking robotically. I sigh and open Kurosei's package, honestly expecting some explosives or a photo of Al being held at gunpoint attached to a ransom note (not that I would even bother).

Inside is a video of something, a button that says 'Future Ruler of Da' World', and some shackles and iron chains. Nori Masa Taka and I proceed to hang those around the room, pin the button to my chest, watch the video to preview it, dress me in the queenly clothes, and grab the banners. This is when I start to 'outline-my-day' so to speak. For one, who to torture? I quickly decide to go with the basic victims, and my first two: Kaname and Zero. Then we have Cassie and Sebastian, so that is an easy choice. Plus, I can just chance upon torture moments (hopefully).

Nori Masa Taka hides all the weapons I owe but Cassie and Sebastain. I pin those two onto my bracelet and proceed to skip out, but I am quick to mistake the window for the door. "AHAYAHA!"

**~~Painful Farm~~**

"What happened to you?" Zero asks when I limp in, covered in branches. "Hey NMT."

Nori Masa Taka sets me down into a seat next to Zero and sits on my other side, patting my head softly. When I growl at her, she takes her hand back and faces forward, getting out school supplies. I guess Yuki also enrolled Nori just to further gift me with the computer. After all, I don't think Headmaster (-shudder-) let's people on campus unless they either attend or wear short skirts. Wait…That means Toga Yagari..."Oh God I'm gonna barf!" I lurch, grabbing some girls hat and puking inside it.

"Ann!" she whines.

"It's either you…*hurl*…or the hat!" I manage, gasping for air between floods of puke. She stays silent after that. I offer her the hat sooner or later, but she just tells me to throw it away. Jeez, whining over something she was going to throw away anyways, such a pain! I do so and the door opens to Toga Yagari. Seriously, how many times is he supposedly 'substituting'? Did the teacher fall into a coma or something?**!** "Oh you," I mutter as he walks past. Well, the only garbage can _is_ in the front of the room.

All he does is point to Zero and I sulk up the steps. Instead of sitting and being boring, I cling to Zero's leg and nom on my wrist, glaring at the floorboards. Yagari sighs at the front, does the usual introduction, and asks for questions. A girl asks, "Are you single?" He answers with a yes and I gag. Another asks, "Have you been teaching for long?" These are obviously first year…

Wait...

Shouldn't-

Aren't we-

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?**!**" I stand up rapidly, shaking Zero's shoulders immediately. People stare at me for the lunatic I am.

Zero blinks and grabs my arms, pinning them to my sides. "Calm down," he states. I refuse to do such sinful deeds, which he clearly sees. "_Calm…_"

"Saying it like Barney does is not going to change anything," I bash my eyes. His grip tightens. "And raping me in the middle of the class is not better."

He rolls his eyes and flicks my forehead. "Ann, either calm down, or I'm getting Kuran." My smirk changes his mind soon enough. "Ugh, Yagari-sempai!"

"Ann, to the front," Toga points to the ground next to him.

Others laugh and snicker as I blink and blink. Eventually I wriggle away from Zero and stand next to the door. Trust me, it is necessary. "I have a question, Yagari-kun."

Toga Yagari is a bit stunned that I did not call him 'sempai' or 'sensai'. Honestly, what kind of queen would I be if I called others such? A disgraceful one, that is what. He sighs and crosses his arms, leaning against the front of his desk. "What?" he mutters.

The students turn to me in curiousity. I finally see Yuki, hitting her head on her desk in that 'why, why' way with Sayori patting her upper back. With a confident smile, I let the words pour out. "Finally took an interest in young girls instead of old guys, huh?"

A slam echoes in the halls of Cross Academy. My screams fill the campus-grounds and Yagari's roars fill all of Japan. **"GET BACK HERE AND SAY THAT WITH MY BOOT UP YOUR ASS YOU MOTHER-"**

"DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE FOR ABUSIVE SEX!"

"_**RAAAAAAH!"**_

**~~Funny Farm~~**

The Night Class students stare at me as I sit on the roof of their dorm building, panting and scarfing down transfusion bags of pure, well-earned blood. They blink with what is either fear or confusion. I would tell them that the substitute chased me here, but it is fun to see them all bewildered. Kaname eventually comes to the front and points to the ground in front of him. In so, I roll off the roof and land on the ground safely, sitting on the ground and sucking my thumb because that is apparently what everyone wants me to do.

"What are you doing?" he demands all stiffy-like.

This makes me raise a brow. So Kurosei likes a blind-Pureblood that hates me, le' psycho queen? "Sucking my thumb," I state, wiping the saliva-covered appendage on my sleeve.

He shakes his head. IF THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT, BE SPECIFIC JERK-FACE! "I was referring to the dress and your being on the roof," he corrects himself. Hey, he IS correcting in my mind.

I stand and wipe the dirt off the back of my skirt, facing Kaname all the time. "I am a queen, so I need sufficient clothes for the job," I answer placidly. "Also, I was chased onto the roof. Unless you want to hear me bitching about being raped, then I suggest you don't complain." Kaname raises a brow at this. "Ugh, rape? You know, guy or girl inserts this and that into this and that of girl or guy against their will?" He still blinks. "Did _NOBODY_ tell you about the birds-and-the-bees?"

"U-Um Ann!" Hanabusa comes up, laughing nervously. "Maybe you should, uh, shut up now?"

Kaname chuckles and crosses his arms, staring down at me with a 'I am better than you' grin. "Don't worry, Aido. She is just seeking attention, per usual."

My eyes roll. "Ugh, whatever you say mister," I sarcastically snap. Taking the banners out of my bag. I levitate my body to go up to the center of the front wall, nailing the first banner there. The vampires sigh and watch, probably bored no doubt. I finally finish and throw the hammer back, hitting Kaname in the back of the head. "Woops," I mutter.

"Kaname-sama!" Ruka gasps.

"I'm fine," Kaname sighs, rubbing the back of his head. He glares at me once I lower myself to the ground. "Thank you for the hammer, Ann."

I smile, twirling around. "It's the least I, a queen, can do for her subjects."

The crumbling of paper comes to my attention. A paper wad lands next to me, the faint trace of 'Hail' on the surface: the banner. "Queen? Do not jest. You are just an aristocrat, Ann Siam." I turn to see some girl behind me. She is extremely short, only up to my shoulders. Her hair is white and her eyes are gray, as if filled with rain clouds. A slight frown is plastered on her face and a Night Class uniform is loose around her, so multiple belts and such hold up certain parts. The girl stands up straight, like a meter stick. "My name is Julia Isaya. I am a Pureblood vampire."

_Like we needed more of those!_ I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Oh boy, a headache already…" I mutter. "When did you get here?"

"Just now," she lifts up a suitcase. "Seeing as you're here…" I fall back from the weight of the suitcase. "Please carry my luggage to my dorm."

My dress rips a bit with the fall. I glare at the bitch who apparently thinks I am some maid with expensive clothes. "I am _not_ some slave. And grow some manners, you!" I snap.

She tilts her head a bit. "I said _please, _did I not?" Is it bad if it has barely been a minute and I already want to rip her head off? With that remark of hers, I toss the suitcase right back at her. She catches it with ease. "Ha."

Vampires behind me bow, Kaname walking next to me and shoving my face into the ground. "Welcome, Julia Isaya," he smiles. "We are glad to have you in the Night Class." She nods and Kaname lets me go as she leaves for her dorm. He faces me soon enough. "You should respect the Purebloods," he hisses. "If you have forgotten, they are the royalty, not you."

I glare at him and sigh, taking off Cassie and smiling psychotically. "You know what?** You're the second one on the chapter's torture list~"**

"Hmm?" Apparently he has forgotten my skill over the break. Oh well…"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

**-Linkin's Note-**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**Ann: I didn't. Stupid Julia bitch…**


	3. Chapter 3

_Three_

The alarm in my dorm blares. Ciel le' Clever kindly smashes it to bits as I slam his surface down on the snooze button, taking much joy in the sound of something destroyed. Nori Masa Taka shakes me and pokes me with something that feels cardboard-y, but I really don't want any more death threats from Kurosei. What can you expect after I sliced Kaname's pretty face? Surely there's a bomb in the package this time...Her shaking only increases the longer I pretend to ignore her, so I grab one of those funky horns of hers and slam her face into the floor, removing the blanket from my face. "Can't you see I'm grumpy?" I murmur.

All she does is lift two packages and notes up to my face. "Mail for Queen Ann 'Demon Gone Out Of Hand' Siam," she states. The creepiness of her voice is enough to convince me to take the packages and start opening them. "From Kurosei and Yuki." The speed of which I open the packages increases with the name 'Yuki'.

I start with her first because I don't want to die before I read something from Yuki again. Well, not Yuki Cross. She's nice and lets me get away with some things, but she doesn't supply me with all this sweet stuff! In the box are her note, which I, per usual, open first.

_Dear Ann-sama!_

_If you ever require help with that idiotic pureblood Julia(Whom you have dubbed as Julia-Bitch apparently, so I shall adress her as so.) just call for my character Proserpine! She'll totally help! If linkin lets her -.-, Anyhow, I am always a phone call away(and a couple hundred miles, but no big deal) so just call whenever! HAPPY NEW YEARS!_

_All Hail Queen Ann! The Rightful Queen of the World!(You should totally get the swords from Inuyasha btw, they'd suit your amazing queensiness perfectly .)_

_Your Faithful Follower,_

_Yuki Hoshino._

Yes. Her name is Julia-Bitch le' Second, after all her mother is _bound _to be the same. And I would like to meet Proserpine some time! I jot a quick note.

_Dear Only-Person-Who-Doesn't-Send-Me-Death-Threats,_

_GET OVER HERE! I want to kill Julia-Bitch Le' Second with you! That and I'll start needing someone to taste food for poison and I don't want to risk losing Nori Masa Taka. Seriously, a humanish computer? I NEED THAT. Oh, and if my wonderful owl (ugh…I should have written his name down…) poops on anything while he's there, I apologize and will tell you now to get something that he can poop in when he visits._

_Your Queen, currently and forever,_

_A.D.G.O.H.S_

I blink at the initials and shrug, digging through the box. The contents make me smile. For one, there are bricks labeled 'Julia-Bitch's Face Here', more banners to hang about, food for my lovely kitties (…I have to make a call later…), some hamsters that I swear look a lot like Linkin's, cookies, a popcorn machine (Yuki, you forgot the popcorn), and movies. One of my favorites, The Expendables, is in there and I look around for a DVD player. I guess the thought of using Nori Masa Taka should have never come to mind…

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Silent as the grave, I open up Kurosei's stuff. What happened between N.M.T and I just now is NONE of your business, even _if_ you will be in my Royal Court!

_Ann-_

_You really want to get yourself killed don't u... You are practically begging to be decapitated and slowly burned in the fires if my kingdom..._

_I've been practicing self control though so u are not dead yet... However as repayment for the troubles u have put me through I DEMAND you help me get rid of that stuck up pureblood women! She threatened to our me in the day class! Do you know how horiable that would with all their kyas! And then I would have to over throw you and be labeled as a traitor! T-T_

_Your impending doom and hopefully Alli in the removal of miss stuck up pureblood..._

_-Kurosei_

See? Death threat. Honestly…Queens will always send other queens death threats, won't they? As punishment, **I SHALL BE THE ONLY ONE TO KILL JULIA-BITCH LE' SECOND**. Well, at least she hasn't killed me yet…Right? For now, I have to find other vampires to run into. Given my luck, that's not going to happen until I at least chop off any nuts Kaname has. Poor me, huh? Inside the package are: a shape shifting potion, a ninja suit, Julia's dorm key, and…"Ah crap." Stink bombs.

And one's armed with a **very** short fuse.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Well, so much for the bombs. And the potion. And the hamsters (R.I.P). This is why you should double-check your packages peoples! I grab my phone while sitting on Zero's bed, dialing my house phone-number. "Are we allowed to be in here?" Nori Masa Taka asks.

"Yes. Queens can go where they please. Now shut up," I hit send, bringing the device to my ear.

_Riiiiiiiing._

_Riiiiiiing._

_Riiiiiing._

_Click. "Hello?"_ Mom yawns on the other end. Does dad have a phobia of phones or something?

"Hey Mom," I greet. "Listen, can you send Angel and Demon?"

"_Huh? I thought you took them with you." _I'm silent until I hang up, blinking. Weird.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Dragging the banners behind me and levitating the bricks beside me, I wander about in thoughts of what to do. I can't throw the bricks at Julia yet, and tazering people is a bit played out…I stop in my tracks. Oh who am I joking? LET'S ELECTROCUTE SOME PEOPLE! Oh course, running into a masochistic tree, I mean vampires and humans, _not_ trees. "Sorry trees!" I pat the bark. "You can't be electrocuted today!"

"Key word:_ today_," the voice of Kaname Kuran spits behind me. I'll just ask this now, but does life hate me or something? Am I destined to die by Kurosei's hand? HMM? "So, who are your targets?"

Well, might as well play nice _just this once_. After all, I'm not dumb enough to tick off the _demon queen._ One of these days, though, ONE OF THESE DAYS! With a sigh, I answer, "Anyone but you. Maybe Julia-Bitch le' Second?"

Kaname's eyes roll and he walks over to me, arms crossed. "You've known her for how long?" he asks. Shouldn't he know? I mean, HE WAS THERE.

Again, with a sigh-and thoughts that even _I_ think you innocent eyes shouldn't read (you know who you are), I answer. "One minute. Shows how hateful she is."

His eyes roll again. So is it Sighing-and-Rolling Eyes Day? Jeez, what a cheerful theme…**NOT**. You know what? I have a petition idea–To be revealed later! "Respect those above you, Ann, and _maybe_ you will find yourself in a better position than you are now," he snaps, breaking my line of concentration.

What a je-WAIT WHAT?**!** One of my brows quirk up while the other tucks down. "…What do you mean? It's not like the Senate is thinking I'll commit treason! Aha! Ahahaha! AHAHAHA-…" By the look on his face…"…**SHIT!"**

"Wait, ANN!"

Trees crash down as I race for the building. **I NEED MY SECURITY GLOMP-VICTIM!**

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"KYA! So kawaii~!" the girls coon around the desk.

Zero glares straight ahead, his right eye twitching. "Gee, thanks for this Ann," he tries to shove me off his torso. "Now could you explain_ why_ you're clinging to me like a security blanket?"

That remark earns him a shock from Marvin. "You're my security_ glomp-victim!_" I protest. "Not my security blanket! That's for babies."

He narrows his eyes and grins a little. Two words: RAPE FACE! That _also _earns him a taze. Does this mean I can end the chapter now? I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS SEEING MY DEMISE! IT MIGHT MAKE YOU SO DEPRESSED YOU'LL FACE THE SENATE YOURSELVES! As I'm bawling due to my stupid condition of doing things I want to do _only_ in my head, Zero rocks me back and forth, despite his Einstein-hair (*sniff* Marvin is finally full-filling his dream of becoming a hair stylist…I'M SO PROUD!). "Hey, calm down," he whispers onto the top of my head (no ears there, buddy). "What's wrong?"

I shake him like crazy with the opportunity. "MY DRUGS ARE ON FIRE!" I scream. He stares at me like I'm a madman. What? Is that not code for 'the Senate is after my ass for dissing a Pureblood'? I hang my head at his density. "You really suck the fun out of codes…"

Zero grumbles and pries me off, setting me on the desk in front of him. "Now, in terms I can _understand_," he sighs.

"Sorry, I don't speak 'rapist'." His body slumps in some act of emoism, forcing me to pat his head. "Simple: Dissed a you-know-who and I'm getting the horns. Or fangs, seeing as we don't _have _horns last I checked…" This gives me several ideas.

At this, Zero finally gets the energy to chase off the fan-beasts and then return to my side. "Don't tell me the Senate's mad at you for you doing something to Kuran," he sighs, sitting on the desk next to me. I shake my head. "Did you piss off one of the Senate members?" He sounds more tired than alarmed. I give him some taste of Marvin. "OW!"

I shake my head, ignoring his red face of supposed rage. "I insulted little-miss-bitch," I shrug nonchalantly (yay~ I's learning big words! XD). "Julia Isaya?"

Zero is now confused. Jeez, and I thought he was stoic and moody, not mood-shifty-every-five-seconds-y. "Isn't she a Pureblood?" he wonders. I nod, resulting in his groan. Zero leans back and glares at the ceiling. "What is that idiot do-ING!"

So I pushed him back, at least I had a valid reason. "Sorry, but you shouldn't really lean back," I hum. Hopping off and getting ready to run, I grin at him. "It's very easy for someone to just shove you off~"

"_ANN!"_

And this is where I run.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Dragging the large hacksaw on the ground, I trudge for the Night Dorms. May I say that this thing has apparently been eating obese Americans ten days straight? The old guy is at the gate-arch-thingy, per usual, and grants me entrance. Funny, I thought security was supposed to be _aware_ that a psychopath is carrying a hacksaw in. Maybe he's tired of working for these stiff, perverted bitches? I shrug before kicking open the door, making Hanabusa and Akatsuki jump.

Hanabusa, being the little pedo he is, is the first to greet me. "Hey Ann~" he sings, hopping in front of me. "How are you~?" He moves to hug me, but Akatsuki stops him.

Akatsuki smiles a bit at me and waves once. "Hey Ann," he says. You know, he_ would_ make a good friend if he wasn't attached to a loser *cough, cough*Hanabusa*cough, cough*. "Are you getting sick?"

DAMN IT! If that happens one more time I am _killing _someone (preferably Julia)! Shaking my head, I raise the hacksaw onto my right shoulder. Unfortunately all this does is make me fall backwards with the saw blade in the ground. "Ugh, could this day get any-"-I see Julia walking down the stairs with a Day Class uniform on. And it's lunch. "…**OH HELL NO!"** I rush up, grab her by the hair, and yank her in front of Kaname's door. Multiple kicks eventually break the door down because he refuses to answer. Kicking her into the room, I levitate the wood to piece itself together back into position and run like crazy back down. "SOMEONE HAND ME THE SAW!"

Hanabusa grabs it. "Not if you-"

Running out of time, seeing as a huge crash marks Kaname's pissed mood, I tackle Hanabusa, smother him with one kiss that I'll burn my lips off for later, and grab the saw. Kaname appears at the top of the steps with Julia, sniffling as she rubs her head. Total act, yes I _know,_ but Kaname doesn't seem to think so. This is the part where I run again with a madman on my ankles. "SO MUCH FOR MY PLAN TO CHECK FOR HORNS!" I cry.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Nori Masa Taka stares at me as I push everything in Dorm 666 up against the banging door. "Have you ever thought of not angering the vampires?" she whispers.

"Oh shut up!" I whine. "Just call Rakisu-"

"I did. She said 'you have to deal with your own shit, now leave me alone I'm doing a ritual'. Word-per-word."

A huge sweat-drop appears on the side of my head. What a great cousin: a Satanist and a _bitch_ to top off all the dark rituals, the funky-smelling stars on the wall, and goat heads for special dinners. Not sure _what_ possessed her to make that last part family-tradition. Tapping my temple, I stand and walk to the window, grabbing Nori Masa Taka and jumping out. I need to annoy one more vampire, but who…Oh, and live. I need to live.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

At Twilight, after all the agonizing hours of hiding in a dumpster, Zero pats my head as I hug him. "Yeah, she was silent through all the classes after lunch," he informs. "Sucks that she has to attend both classes and sit next to me during the day…"

My demonic aura forces me to stomp in front of the gate with Cassie, scaring most of the fan-girls. The doors open and I charge at Julia. Yet I don't really get anywhere with a pissed Pureblood holding my collar. "ACK!" goes my body as my oxygen supply cuts short. "HELP!**?"**

Girls whisper and Zero snatches me from Kaname, my jacket ripping due to Kaname's firm grip. "Leave her alone, Kuran!" Zero snarls. "Can you blame her? She hates that Julia chick!"

"_Chick_?" Kaname repeats. "My, my, how disrespectful."

_Yuki, put that whistle of yours to good use and blow it already!_ When she doesn't because she's trying to keep the girls under control, I go into depression and cling to Zero tighter. "My life is over…"

They bicker and eventually the Headmaster is forced to come to get the Night Class to go to class. Zero stays behind to talk with him, more like scold him by the looks of it actually. Clinging to Akatsuki, I go to class in my Day uniform (minus the jacket because SOMEONE ripped that). As usual, the class is boring, but the fun part?

I sit next to Julia.

"**SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME!"** I pound on the windows, vampires struggling to pry me away from the glass. **"I'M GONNA DIE BEFORE THE HOUR ENDS!"**

"It's nice to know that you recognize who has the more power," Julia states, staring at a page of her textbook.

Vampires flee as I swing Marvin around, scratching Ruka's face. "Say that to my face, Julia-Bitch le' Second!" I snarl, aiming Marvin at her. Ugh, I need F.I.F.Y.

Julia seems bored, blinking slowly as if tired. She eventually shuts her book and stands, walking over to me. All she does is grab Marvin's head and crushes it. "It's nice to know that you recognize who has the more power," she repeats. Word-per-word. Tone-by-tone. Rage swells up in my body, but all I do is stomp out, carrying the remains of Marvin.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"Eh, you want to stay here?" Richard asks, blinking down at me as I sit on the floor. "Why?"

Nori Masa Taka shows him Marvin, partially repaired. He understands and drags me in, because I'm in my ball form. Everyone that is close to me knows that when I'm in my ball form, I am on the verge of ripping someone's guts out with my teeth. I lift my eyes above my arm for a second, just so I make sure he doesn't dump me in the trash bin or anything, when I see a saw in the corner. Well, seeing as I need to annoy one more vampire…

Richard sets me on a bed and pats my head before noticing my gaze at the corner. He walks over to grab the saw and hands it to me. "You obviously can't sleep without cuddling something sharp," he sighs, as if defeated. He chooses to sleep on the floor. "Night."

Nori Masa Taka climbs into bed next to me and ignores me as I get up, stepping over to Richard's sleeping figure. I kneel down and hover the saw over his head. Time to check for horns~ "_**Night, my sweet brother~**_** And test subject**."

"No anesthesia?" Nori Masa Taka yawns.

"What's that?" I blink. She rolls her eyes and lets me continue with my business.

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Four_

Headmaster taps the cage I am so locked in. For that, blame Kaname for hearing Richard's screams of agony as I searched for horns. Really now, I never thought I would see the day where people would hate on a scientist. Kaname sits in front of the Headmaster's desk, staring at my cage with a frown. "Already having to be locked up…" he whispers. "…Maybe putting Julia in the Day Class was not the best option."

"YOU THINK?**!**" I screech. They both flinch. "Why did you even _put_ her there?**!**"

Headmaster smiles and pats the cage, ignoring my venomous glare. "Well you see, her family has a lot of ties to the human community. She needs to learn how to cooperate with humans so that she doesn't struggle in her later years."

I kick the bars making him jump back out of surprise. "Make her suffer, see if I care!" I snap. "She is pissing me off to the extreme and it's only chapter_ four_!" They stare at me like I'm a case of nuts. _"DON'T QUESTION MY INSANITY!"_

Kaname glares and stands up, eyes flashing red. **"If you hate it so much, why don't you just go home?**!" he roars.

"Kaname!" Headmaster shouts. "Don't! I know Ann is difficult and hard to handle-"

"Gee thanks," I intervene.

"-But she is like a daughter to me none of the less!" My jaw drops. "She hasn't killed any of us _yet_, so until she does, there is no reason to tell her those things!"

Now it's Headmaster's turn to receive the stare of insanity. "…She drugged a _horse_ in her first year," Kaname states. "She nearly de-balled Hanabusa, raided the Night Class cabin during that one trip, just now nearly gave Miss Isaya a concussion-"-_Oh boo-hoo-_"-sawed her brother's head open-"-_IT WAS FOR SCIENCE!-"_-and was electrocuting trees yesterday. That, and plenty more! How can you call her even a _person_ after doing that?" Oh, okay, ignore MY feelings you heartless butt-munch.

Headmaster sighs and picks up some letters, dropping them into my little box of 'confinement'. Honestly, I'm just bored and not breaking out. So, as those two bicker, I check my fan-mail. See? I'M PRODUCTIVE, WORLD!

_Ann-_

_Since u can't seem to kill stuck up pureblood lady by yourself I was forced to call in help..._

_-_- so in precily an hour after you read this letter some if my fire demons will appear in your room... They are to follow your commands yada yada yada kill stuck up lady yada yada yada not in the mood to threaten cause I'm Barily containing myself from ripping of your head yada yada yada... Just kill the stuck up lady..._

_Your approaching death and overly angered frienmey,_

_-kurosei alure shadow blaze_

_(And yes that is my insane annoying long name)_

WHAT?**!**

NONONO!

Okay, I did _NOTHING_ to Kaname last time! Cross my non-existent heart and hope to not die! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?**!** Headmaster and Kaname become somewhat alarmed when I start bawling my eyes out due to Kurosei's constant stream of death threats. In the package I get a blade sharpener (which I eat) and a blood sample (which Kaname takes because he is a bi-I should keep my mouth shut this time, shouldn't I?). Next is from Night, and hopefully this isn't a death threat.

_Dear Queen Ann-sama,_

_I am respectably sorry for not sending you a letter earlier and must say I do not think that sleeping with a saw is a very good idea... But meh, anyway... I do wonder where those adorable murder princesses are, I mean really? Where could Angel and Demon be? It just is sad they are missing, and you should really try and make up with Kurosei, no matter what. For she, like me and Demon and the others that recognize you as Queen, has a very powerful position at the moment (Whether the stupid government accepts them or not, muahahahaha!). Anyway, it is lovely hearing that you are using you presents_

_Your loyal mentally disturbed follower, Night the Darkness and Sadness of your Nightmares!_

Well, DUH. Why wouldn't I use the lovely presents people give me? Since I'm bored, I'll share a small story of ONE exception:

Long ago, when this little queen was a midget elf, she was playing with her decapitated/scorched vampire plush toys by the Christmas Eve fire. Dad was knitting and Mom was cleaning the guns as Richard was setting up the Christmas tree, or Christmas twig with plastic leaves glued to it, all by himself. Uncle Marc was making paper in the kitchen when someone knocked on the door and in came my wonderful cousin, Rakisu. I believe you all met her, right? Anyways, she comes up to me all happy-go-lucky and tells me to close my eyes. Next thing I know I get knocked over by an oversized goat head.

And that is something that burned in the fireplace that very night.

Since that's out of the way, I go through the package. A DVD player, a laptop, and a midget Nori Masa Taka. "…OH MY GOD!" I jump up, hitting my head on the top of the large square. "OW!" I say with the same amount of enthusiasm. "NORI MASA TAKA HAS A GUARDIAN CHARACTER!"

**Side Moral: Never let me watch Shugo Chara if you really do not want to hear these references. **

The girl blinks up at me before shrugging. "My name is Mayu," she states before slipping into my pocket. "Here for your portable needs." She then taps her horn, making it glow radiantly. "And just in case you need to get my NMT unit over here."

BEST. PRESENT. EVER. And it's cute! I swear, this is what my baby with Zero shall look like, and I _will_ find a way to get the horn-things born with her, even if it hurts! Now bouncing with joy (in the literal sense that keeps making my head hit the top bars), I open the last package, without note. There are only two names: 'Aoi' and 'Mya Kiryu'. Whether or not she's Zero's long lost sister is of no business of mine once the AK-47 slips out. How this package even FITS in this cage, this queen shall never know…This wonderful gun is complete with some poison and quite a few vampire-killing rounds.

I grin at Kaname, still bickering with the Headmaster. _**"Oh Kaname~"**_

**~~Funny Farm~~**

My eye twitches as I watch the fire demons take up lodging in _my_ dorm. Nori Masa Taka and Mayu try their best to cheer me up, but I am honestly pissed beyond comprehension. Stupid Julia…Stupid Kaname…STUPID FIRE DEMONS! I whistle to grab their attention. With that in hand, I leap out of the window and make a mad dash for the Night Dorms. Might as well get _something_ out of this pointless chapter…

Once again, the old geezer lets me through the gate, all fire demons in tow. Does he hate the Night Class to the very core or something? 'Cause if he didn't, then he wouldn't be letting me in and out of this place like I have full Cross-Academy access. Julia is walking out with some other vampire, chatting away happily, when the fire demons attack her at full throttle. I load my AK-47 with le' vampire-slaughtering rounds and fire towards the direction of all the flames.

One shriek is heard, so a full grin spreads across my face. _"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" _I laugh. The laugh cuts short, however, when the flames die. Ash is on the ground…

…**UNDER. JULIA'S. FEET.**

"DO YOU NOT DIE?**!**" I screech, shaking her angrily.

She blinks placidly, not giving one iota for the dead vampy at her feet. Eh, don't necessarily blame her. "I am a Pureblood. You are an aristocrat." She flicks my forehead. "Learn your place."

This makes me laugh. "Oh, and what can you do, _whine at me to death_?"

Julia glares and grabs my arm, tugging on it. Her face scrunches up in concentration and I tilt my head, some question mark appearing next to my head. I swear I haven't been on drugs recently…"Ugh…" she mutters. "Strength is not everything."

Black clouds fill the sky overhead and thunder cackles. The light illuminates the Higurashi grin on my face as I tug Sebastian the Scythe off of the bracelet.

**Side, Side Moral: You know what? Just don't let me watch anything AT ALL to prevent all these references…**

"_**Let's test that, shall we~?" **_I sing. I raise Sebastian up high above my head.** "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" **Julia scampers.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"One vampire annoyed on the wall, one vampire annoyed! Hang one up, get some rope, and just keep hanging them~!"

Zero keeps one bloodshot eye at me as his head rests on folded arms. "Dear God, JUST SHUT UP," he groans.

I pout. "It's not nice to tell God to shut up," I inform, poking his pale-ass cheek. "It's like telling me to shut up, except you trip over your feet instead of losing your right kidney for Black Market purposes."

More dark clouds come into the sky as Zero seems to shrink closer to the desk. _"Give me the fucking kidney…"_ he growls, holding out a hand.

"No!" I stand up, clutching a jar filled with such organ tightly in one hand. "I worked hard to get this!"

"YOU TOOK IT FROM RICHARD."

…"Well, true, BUT STILL!" At this point, I'm stomping the ground and throwing the cutest fit I can think of: one from me! "It's not fair! I work so hard to cut up my _LOVING OLDER BROTHER_, and here you are, _DEMANDING MY BROTHER'S KIDNEY._ Oh the agony! You sick bastard!" Zero stands himself, wearing a confused grin. "Tearing a lonely-hearted sister from her brother's kidney when she plans to sell it and buy him some condoms for his time with Beet!"

The flying textbook that smacks my head comes from none other than Beet herself, blushing as red as a, well, beet. Zero chuckles and walks over, firmly placing a foot on my back and leaning down next to my head. How is this guy so flexible? Questions, questions…"Karma~" he sings, plucking the jar from my fingers. "Now, I guess I'll return this to the leech. Tell the teacher I left for a health emergency, will ya'?"

As he walks to the door, I start bawling. The clouds outside become blacker and the light of the world nearly goes away as those cooing fan girls I so hated last year and the year before loom over Zero, glaring with all their ridiculously set might. He sweat drops and shuffles over to my (crocodile) crying figure, picking me up and rocking me like a baby. Normally I would object to such treatment, but meh, it's my boyfriend!

Someone opens the door and breaks the concentration of the fan girls. Julia enters with a pale face and a trembling frame. Several cuts are on her arms and face, the origins of which to be **NOT **said. She glances at Zero and I before facing the board with a glare. I chose to ignore her as Zero rocks me, muttering nonsense into my hair.

"It's okay…It's okay…You are way too sensitive, but it's o-_AH!_"

Blood spurts onto my claws as they dig into the side of his neck. "Oh just shut up…" I murmur.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Sure this last section here maybe way over what Linkin can afford, but that bitch neglects me so much that she deserves the suffering! In the Night Class, I glance out of the window to see Zero, smiling up at me and waving. I flip him off and laugh at his playful scowl. He flips me off as well and starts panicking as I mimic tears. Kaname, of course, ends our loving dispute with a book to the head. "DON'T COPY BEET!" I scold.

Ruka glares, standing up quicker than Blart at the word of 'beer'. Ah, Blart the Clown…"You should respect Kaname-sama!" she snaps. "He is much more than you will ever be!"

My brown irises roll and I sit on my desk, legs swinging at the front. "Do you mean that as a _person_ or as my 'level' in our government charts?" I wonder.

"Both!" is her response.

Hanabusa grunts and grabs Ruka's wrist, yanking her down into her seat. "Be nice," he hisses. "Ann can be nice when she wants to."

Kaname snorts. "And that's _when_?" he questions, slamming the book he reads shut. Most of the vampires jump; Julia and I remain calm. The Pureblood faces me with a look of obvious distain. "Hmm? When is that, _Queen Ann_?"

I shrug and yawn, not really caring for the situation. "Never," I respond. "Look, I'm kind of tired, so can someone tell that laggy teacher of ours to get his ass in here?"

Most vampires glare at my insensitivity and untactful words, but that does not stop Akatsuki from replying. "He'll get here when he gets here," he shrugs. I scoff and lean back far enough to fall over. "That's not the chair you know."

Some vampires chuckle as I struggle to get up. Julia smirks and I levitate her chair into the ceiling, making Kaname sigh and continue reading. Sometimes I just feel like they can't help but give up on me…Footsteps echo in the hall and I beam, grabbing the laptop I had received today and rushing out. The black slab of sleek awesomeness is lifted high above my head before striking down hard on the person in front of me. "GET YOUR ASS IN CLASS, MISTER!" I laugh. My eyes glance at the victim to see the look of pain.

That is not what I get.

What I _do_ get, however, is a fairly pissed Toga Yagari being escorted by Richard, being somewhat loopy from his kidney surgery earlier.

**Moral: Mr. Yagari is, in fact, not a masochist and does not like having his head smashed through a laptop.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I hate Linkin so fucking much…*Sigh* Hello subjects! Miss me? Ah I bet you did. Anyways, thank you for the letters and packages! Also, I see I have some new worshipers. **

**You know who you are, so come claim a cookie (not made by me).**

***Hands new worshipers cookies***

**Well, enjoy the chapter and spread the word of my reign!**

_Five_

Life makes me wonder sometimes. You know, whether or not God made you with bones that were meant to be broken and were not to be broken; all that fun stuff. Well, all I know is that Yagari broke both kinds two days ago, and I'm out of the hospital. Yay…AND WHAT'S THAT FUCKING OWL'S NAME?**! **Seriously, I've been calling him Hedwig for the past few days and it's not helpful!

Nori Masa Taka sets a package down on the desk in front of me. Mayu holds up two letters. I pluck them up, taking a nice long swig of Coke-Cola before I go sane. The room is now populated with fire demons (who God refuses to send away, apparently) and I'm pretty sure that we need to install a thermostat in here. That, or they go in Kaname's room and melt _his_ ass off. Either way, I guess.

First letter is from Kurosei. Is this going to be another death threat? 'Cause I can't really take those right now.

_ANN-__  
__Darling Ann since I'm am currently on a suger high and toga is gonna kill you anyway I'm gonna save the hurry up and kill what's her face threats for another time... Aren't I nice! Anyway since I feel sorry for you I gonna let you in on a little secret... Vampires have yet to come up with a defense against demonic magic... Sooooo hint hint you can just order the demons to kill what's her name... I would do it myself but I have a reputation to keep up... And as soon as she is dead the demons will disappear... So you won't have to deal with the anymore... I'm sure -excuse this grell moment- SHE WILL LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL BATHED IN RED... Did I metion as soon as this is over that ill give you the hey to my room full of all types of candy, soda and suger? Guess not...__  
__-kurosei..._

Huh, I guess not. Well, thanks for the demons Kurosei, but if they don't work by the end of the chapter, I want them GONE, understand? GONE! I seriously cannot take your slave demons, hot or not. Also, I'll try it, but who knows what this bitch has up her sleeve, you know?

The next letter-n-package is from Aoi and Mya Kiryu. Just to say, thank you for convincing Linkin to focus on me again; much appreciated. So, the letter says 'thank you for using my AK-47', she's Zero's cousin (I'll ask him about that later), the package has vampire-rounds, a tank (must be resizable), some bombs, Aoi has a gun and sickle and to get her to kill you just say 'some bitch slept with my boyfriend', and I can ask for any anime character except Garra. It also says something about her sending Mya to Zero.

I open the package with a grin. "This is going to be so-…What the?" I take out a bra, underwear, a condom, and some fancy-shmancy looking letter. The package says it's going to a 'Annie Sherbert'. Biting my lip, I grab the phone.

_Riiing._

_Riiing._

_Rii-_

"_This is the local post office-"_

"**YOU SCREWED UP YOU FUCKING MORNONS!" **_Click!_

**~~Annoying Farm~~**

S-Seriously, HOW? I _never_ got a package mix up before! I m-mean, this is too some stripper! Look!

Annie S. Sherbert

POLE-DANCE UPORIUM

PO 211515 Bloomington, IL

Does that sound _remotely _like me? NOPE. **I'M NOT EVEN FROM ILLINOIS! **How does the Post Office screw up so much that they mix up the countries?**!** I kick the door to the classroom down and stomp in, immediately sitting in Yuki's lap and shaking her like crazy. "HELP ME!"

She seems frightened (probably because this is our first time talking to each other since the year started). Yet, she seems to have enough wit left to grab my wrists and stop the shaking. "Help you with what?" she asks. See? This is why I like this chick; helpful. I tell her about the post office problem. "Send it back," she shrugs.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT MY TANK?**!**" I whine. Yuki raises a brow, so I show her the letter. "It's not like the stripper's gonna send it back! SHE'S GOING TO TAKE OVER AMERICA WITH IT!"

"Ann! You can't call people that!" Yori gasps.

I point to the label. "It says 'POLE-DANCE UPORIUM'. You telling me that business men and construction workers dance on poles now, Yori? Huh? ARE YOU?**!**" She shuts up. "See? Only strippers dance on poles, last time I checked."

Honstly…A stripper? Out of all people to get my fans presents mixed up with, I get a _stripper. _For God's sake, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS SHIT? With a sigh, Yuki sets me on my own two feet and pats my head. She really shouldn't when she's not all that taller than me…"Just annoy someone with it then," she giggles. "You know, replace the label and write a new letter."

After some consideration, I nod and hug her. "Thank you Yuki~" I hum before sitting at Zero's chair. Meh, he's probably just going to ditch, so no harm done, right? Julia walks in and I smirk. _Demons~ Demons, where are you~…DEMONS! KILL. NOW._ As Julia sits next to me, I hear a scream outside. My head crashes on the table-top. "Fucking morons…"

**~~Stupid Farm~~**

During class, I read and re-wrote the letter. It's weird what boyfriend's will send to their stripper girlfriends when they know about what they do. I'm kind of curious as how it even works out…Well, questions later, frustration now. Walking to the night dorms, I knock on the door and glance at the label below. I made this to Hanabusa, so Kurosei should have no reason to kill me…Yet. Don't know what I'm going to do for my next four victims.

What? I've been neglected too much lately, and everything's going to Hell, so I should get a little relief from that! Nobody is answering the door, so I knock again. And again. And again. I keep knocking and eventually I start to annoy myself. Finally Takuma answers, looking as peppy as ever. "Oh, hey Ann! You know you can stop knocking, right?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Well, you're part of both classes, so…Technically, this dorm is your dorm." I laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Nobody really considers me as their classmate in this school," I chuckle, walking past him. "I just lodge in _666 _because this queen needs to sleep somewhere~"

Takuma laughs nervously. "Of course…" As he shuts the door, he glances at the top of the steps as if expecting someone. "I'm curious Ann, but why are you a 'Queen'?" Now I'm the one confused. "I mean, last year you dressed up as a maid, a ninja, and all that other stuff, but you insist that you're a queen. Why's that?"

Oh wow, is a subject interviewing his queen? Haha, that's a new one! Eh, something to get out of the rut, right? "Because queens have power," I admit. "I am a person with power, so might as well use that to my advantage, right?"

"Eh, I guess…" Takuma smiles with understanding. To be honest, he'd make a good friend too if he wasn't all buddy-buddy with Kuran. Yet again, I guess he's the 'everybody's friend' type of guy. "So, is that a package from one of your fans?" I shake my head. "Then who's it from."

"Dunno," I fib. "It's for Hanabusa, so I didn't check. Don't want to know what happens in his life anyway…"

Takuma laughs, a little red in the cheeks. See? I CAN MAKE THESE BITCHES LAUGH TOO! _Muhahahahahaha~_ "I can see why. Well, I think you already know where his room is, right?" I nod. "Okay then, I'll go back to reading manga." He jogs to the stairs and waves back at me. "Have a good day! And try not to cut Kaname's head off!"…Damn it, he saw right through me. With that, I take the chainsaw charm off the bracelet and wrap the blade in a plastic bag on the table before re-attaching it.

At Hanabusa's dorm, I knock and receive an Akatsuki as the result. "Where's Hanabusa?" I wonder. He points over to a lump in the bed. "Hanabusa! Package for you!"

He leaps up and tackles me. "Oh Ann! I knew you cared!" WHAT THE HELL IS HE BABBLING ABOUT?**!** Akatsuki sighs as I wriggle and writhe for freedom, but fails to lend a hand. "You care so much that you got me a present!"

"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOU PSYCOPATH!" I whine. Kaname starts walking down the hall, yawning. "KANAME! CONTROL YOUR BLOODSUCKERS, DAMN IT!"

As he walks by, he glances at me with a raised brow as Hanabusa continues suffocating me. "Aren't you one yourself?"

"NO. I'M A PANDA. _NOW HELP ME!"_

"And I should…why?" His cold smirk tells me that he's a tree lover, and he's holding a grudge against me for shocking them (the bastard).

I groan and start shoving at Hanabusa's face. "One day of me having to do everything you say," I mutter.

Kaname considers it longer than needed to (I'M DYING HERE YOU JERK!). "Everything?" he muses.

"Everything rated _G_, you sicko," I mutter, preparing to kick Hanabusa in the nuts.

He seems to agree with the deal, seeing as he grabs Hanabusa by the scruff and tosses him back in his room. "It's a deal. Tomorrow, then?" I nod. With that, the pureblood leaves.

Now let me make this clear. In this world, some sacrifices are necessary. For annoying people, it's health. For parenting, it's sanity. Trust me, I live with two of them; I know what I'm talking about. Since I'd rather not become one of those people tied up in basements and fed crap by obsessed stalkers (HANABUSA I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU), ONE DAY'S FREEDOM ISN'T THAT BAD. Case closed.

Akatsuki notices the package and picks it up. "Do you know who this is from?" he asks. I shake my head. Huh. Did I forget to put a sender? "Hmm…Well, thanks anyway Ann."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Getting up, I have to bend backwards a little do to something Hanabusa did to my spine. Ruka and some other vampire laugh as I stumble down the stairs like an idiot. **"SHUT UP."**

**~~Funny Farm~~**

N.M.T fixed my back, so I'm good to go! Not sure what happened with Hanabusa, but who cares? ONE VAMP DOWN, FOUR MORE TO GO! Or people, whichever comes first! In the Day Class, I super glue myself onto Zero's lap so I can use him as a seat (three more to go). I use the rest to super glue pencil shavings to the back of Julia's head (I was bored). My hand gets caught, so I have to yank it out. Let's just say she screams really loud when it comes to the loss of her hair…(that makes two, I guess). When Toga asks me [politely, he says] to stop making a fuss, I call him a dyke and run, ripping Zero's pants off in the process.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

According to Kaname, my few minutes of Day Class was a new record for me; making four embarrassing moments for three people in two minutes. WOOT! I would say this deserves more annoying-fun for the lot of you, but then we'd get to another record and by the time you know it I'm old and gray on the 'author's note'.

I sit next to Kaname during class, serving as a stand for his books. Honestly, I don't mind it as much seeing as its kind of fun to try and balance it on my head. That, and I have an excuse not to pay attention in class. Bet Kaname didn't think about that, huh? Julia is watching me, glaring as she holds an ice-pack to the back of her head. The rest of the vampires pretend to focus on the bored, but really stare at me with slight fear. Guess it's from the fact that I ripped out half of a Pureblood's hair.

Oh, what did I do with the hair? I put it up for sale on E-Bay. N.M.T and Mayu are watching E-Bay to see if anyone buys it. Right now my hand is squeaky clean~ Not for long though. I grab a small jar of bees out of my pocket and set them free. They instantly attack the teacher. Kaname takes the books off my head so he can give me the 'what did you do' glare. "Oh sue me for having pet bees," I mutter. "Not my fault the teacher so happened to have honey in his back pocket…"

"How would you know that?" Ruka laughs.

My eyes turn into slits and I point to the teacher. "The bees wouldn't be munching at his butt if there wasn't honey there." She shuts up as I put the books back on my head, balancing them. Kaname huffs and takes one, muttering something about him dying from stress tomorrow when I serve him all day.

**-Author's Note—**

**Ann: Yep. Next chapter, KANAME IS DOOMED~ MUHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Linkin:…What about Kurosei?**

**Ann:…CRAP…**

**Linkin: Well, see you guys next chapter!**


End file.
